we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
