After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
