You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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