My room smells like vodka and shame
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why do cheetos always look like penises
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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