break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
