Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
