its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
as a side note pls kill me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
