chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My penis needs a shock collar
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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