He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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