You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Randomize