Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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