You're completely useless in the revolution.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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