Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
