all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
