your thong is hanging out like whoa
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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