I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
