that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
