Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
