I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
