omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
