I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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