Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
