I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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