AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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