her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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