Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
