I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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