if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
