the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
