Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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