She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Randomize