you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
