I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
