Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
