But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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