Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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