oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish life had little blips of pornography
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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