Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
