I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
