am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
