If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
