The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hippo gnu deer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
