sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
