I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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