WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
