Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
