You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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