my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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