***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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