i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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