stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
