if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
