Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
