I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm at about main and main street
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
