SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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