Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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