brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
