I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
