Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
