it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
