The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
