i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I party with great urgency now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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