Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Randomize