Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
