thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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