well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
