C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
