After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
